父母心, 谁明了。

Son, daddy could not sleep the whole of last night and whole of today, daddy feels horrible. I can feel your hurt and as your dad, I want you to know that I trust you and I know you have the courage to admit mistakes if you are wronged. Son, this moral courage is MORE PRECIOUS than anything else. Daddy knows he must speak up for you.

Son, know too that daddy was wronged once when i was in Primary 3. I was accused of lying and pushing the blame to a prefect when I did not and in the end had to be punished in front of the whole class. Til this day, I remember the slap from my VP and I want to thank him. Thank you for showing me that people tend to judge but appearance and wayward students like me will always take the blame (when it was the other way round).  I may have become "good" but I wanted to prove to those who looked down on me. I will not let others judge my inner beliefs despite my "poor behavior". I worked my way up to become a prefect in Sec school not because I am "good" but because I want to prove that EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE and I will never let anyone look down on me nor will i ever look down on others.

Son, no one can take your moral courage away from you. If you did nothing wrong, don't let others sway you. Daddy is not perfect and neither are you. But remember, we are saved not by works, but by grace.

I love you. Mummy loves you. Most importantly, Jesus loves you.
030414.

Dear Mr Discipline Master

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing to ask for you to reconsider asking Joshua Yeo to step down as a trainee prefect.

Please know that I am not speaking or defending my son from a protective parent’s perspective. We share the same expectation at home- if one is in the wrong, he needs to own up and be responsible to accept his punishment.

However, my wife and I have had spoken to him last night about what happened and as parents, we feel there is a need to clarify. The incidents that follow after he informed us about the your decision since yesterday afternoon has not been easy and as parents, much as we hope he learns from his mistake and grow to be more responsible, we both felt his deep hurt. We understand our boy. Please allow me to explain. Joshua is one who may appear outwardly extroverted but is one who carries with him a lot of emotional burden and care for others. He stands up for his friends and yes, is easily influenced because of his high social preference. In this incident, it was not easy for us to ask him to tell us who encouraged him to speak to the Juniors as he feels a strong need to protect his buddies. However, when we pushed to ask, as a prefect, do you think that was correct to be influenced by your friends, all he could say is those who coerced him in doing so were themselves student leaders. I like to respect my son’s decision to not reveal his friends’ names but we have made it clear that he too needs to make his own judgement in behaving in the right manner.

My wife shared with me that you have received complaints from other teachers who found Joshua talkative in the class. I have spoken to Joshua repeatedly on this issue and he said that the recent “accusations” were due to incidents where he was either attending to helping his friend’s or clarifying his misconception. To be honest, I am personally concerned as we coach our children in their studies and from his recent assignments, I am worried as much of what he is expected to learn is above-level testing to the required syllabi. This is disturbing as children who manifests these supposed negative behaviours are often seen as non-compliant but I often tell Joshua that if he is unsure, he must be bold to clarify or ask questions – if not to the teacher, then with his buddies. However, my sense is, the learning environment enforced by some of the teachers negates the educational potential of allowing students to speak freely. But of course, this is a separate issue and its not peculiar only in his lessons.

Joshua takes a lot of pride in his honor to be a prefect. Since he was nominated, he has been a lot more conscientious in both his studies as well as being a better role model at home and I believe, in school.  He shares with us how he diligently carries out his duty and does his best to encourage his friends and to me, character is a lot more important than grades.  I believe those HODs in ACS(P) whom have been under my tutelage during their MLS can testify my educational beliefs are consistent with my personal and parenting values.  In church, Joshua takes on other self-initiated leadership in Sunday School with garnering his friends for community service and helping others and we are grateful for the opportunities you have afforded through this badge of honor.

As a fellow educator, I believe that while a child needs to be duly punished for his mistakes, there is also room for a second chance in view of the holistic development of the child. I believe there is an ethics to discipline just as parents we too are torn with the dilemma of issuing punishment I think you will agree with me that discipline too needs to be age and child appropriate. In this incident, Joshua might have been wrong and he has admitted. We sincerely hope you will give him a second chance with counselling.

Sincerely yours

John